Numb

Lately i feel numb
I cant feel anything and everything like i used to feel
There is no more exciting lebaran
There is no more exciting ramadhan
Why am is so this cursed?
What kind of person had i become now?
I no longer live my life.
What kind of excitement i should go through to get rid of this numbnes?
Maybe God is punishing me now.
I always feel like i am the worse human being at the moment.
I can't see where i am going.
I dont see any light on where i am walking my life now.
There is only two things i probably think that still exciting me i guess. . . . .
Listening to japanesse songs, watching japanesse movie/drama and off course DIVING.
But why is it so hard to do it lately.
I hate myself the most when i am doing what i hate the most, kaisha de hataraiteimasu no koto ichiban daikirai desyo.
I want to feel i am living my life again.
Why am i always feel this kind of bored?
Why am i so easily get bored with everything and anything.
Saiyaku. . . . . .