I am a freak

I guess i am getting drowning with piles of works.
I am a freak who spent the weekend at the office.
As if i dont have a life.

Why cant i living my dream, i have always been a big dreamer.
I always dream big
But i never living in it.
What exactly wrong with me?

I am a freak that i can put myself into.

I hate my job.
But i cant leave it

If i leave it, i will not afford to dive, or paying my brother`s school fee and monthly allowance
And i cant watch bbc knowledge or discovery or nat geo or nhk, my faves tv program.
And i vant pay the electricity billing.

Damn it. To whom should i blame my life with?

I just cant afford this life any longer.

All inside me is angers.

Why am i always feel unhappy? Unsatisfied?

I try not to hate my life.
There are more suffer life than i do have now.

What do i have to do to make me realise it?

I am doomed.